Thor is giving Loki his first taste of coffee and let’s just say…the side effects are not what you’d expect. Crack. No Slash unless you really, REALLY, want to read it that way. But you’d have to try pretty hard. Rated T for language of sexual talk…sorta. Please read & review.
Written by: G33kinthepink
Originally posted on AO3
Disclaimer: I Own Nothing! Marvel owns the awesomeness that is Loki, Thor and The Avengers.
OK, Thor and Loki are in Stark’s house. Don’t ask me the how’s and why’s, I don’t care…not important to this story. Thor is giving Loki his first taste of Coffee and let’s just say, its side effects are unexpectectadly different on a Frost Giant. Crack to follow. Rated T for some sexual talk and language..maybe. No slash unless you read it that way. Character’s are Thor,Loki,Tony Stark, Bruce Banner and Natasha Romanov…the rest must still be on holiday or something.
Also pardon my writing of laughter, I tried just writing *giggles*,but it looked stupid, so I left it ‘eeheehee’…feel free to fill in whatever laughter noise you have in your head. 😉
Try It Brother
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“Try it brother. I assure you, you will like it.” Thor chuckled as he watched Loki expectantly.
Loki just continued eying the dark contents in his cup skeptically. Finally, after a deep breath, he sipped the warm drink and immediately slammed the cup back down in disgust. Choking back the urge to spit out the small amount he had just sampled.
“Ugh,” He burst, the look of revulsion and surprise on his face enough to earn him further chuckles from Thor. “It’s revoltingly bitter! Surely the Midgardians do not share the same tastes as we.”
Thor was sorely disappointed that his brother did not share the same affinity as he for this Midgardian drink. With a shrug he took a large swallow of his own cup of coffee before setting it down beside his brothers. Loki looked at his cup with sudden suspicion.
“Thor, why is yours a different color than mine?” Accusation flashing in his eyes as he met Thor’s. “You tricked me!”
Thor held his hands up appeasingly “Nay,nay. Calm yourself! I would not be so wicked. Mine has been flavored by the additional Midgardian ingredients they call cream and sugar. ” Seeing Loki was still not convinced, he grabbed his brother’s cup and returned to the kitchen counter. “Relax dear brother, I will prepare yours as I have mine. I simply wanted to see if you preferred it in its natural form first.”
Thor returned a moment later, placing the cup directly in front of his brother and watching him patiently.
“Well obviously, I do not,” Loki spat, still eying the newly returned cup in front of him with some suspicion. Its contents shade now lighter and a perfect match to the liquid in Thor’s cup.
After several moments Loki had made no move to test the new drink “Well, come on Loki. It’s not going to bite you.”
“You’ll forgive me if I am not as eager the second time around.” Loki picked up the mug, but still hesitated putting it to his lips, smelling it while he kept his eyes on Thor for some hint of jest or foul play.
Encouragingly, Thor took another large swallow of his own coffee and finally Loki took another, albeit smaller this time, sip. The warm liquid was sweet on his tongue and much smoother than the first time. He let it set on his taste buds a moment longer before allowing it to slide down his throat. He could feel its warmth, trace its decent, all the way down to his stomach where it sent tingles throughout his extremities, even raising goose bumps on his arms and the hairs back of his neck.
Loki’s eyes locked on Thor’s for only a brief moment, but his brother didn’t miss the total wonder and astonishment in them and laughed openly as Loki guzzled down the remaining contents of his mug. Once empty, he slammed it down on the table, panting as he tried to catch his breath. His entire body was on fire from the inside out and he felt as though Thor’s lightning had now energized all his senses.
“Amazing,” He finally managed, still staring in wonder at his cup before turning to Thor. “Another!”
“Alright, alright” Thor chuckled as he picked up Loki’s mug to refill it. “But do try to savor it a bit this time.”
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It was the thundering sound of Thor’s booming laughter that finally aroused the groups curiosity and brought them to see what was unfolding in the kitchen. They all shared confused and questioning looks as they stood in the doorway. Thor and Loki where sitting with their backs to the door, side by side at the small table. Thor’s massive arm holding onto the back of Loki’s chair as the smaller framed demi-god sat hunched over, his entire body quaking as he tried to choke back the mouthful of coffee he had just drank between fits of laughter. Loki, who had always kept a bubble of personal space between himself and Thor, always rebutting any touch, friendly or otherwise, now seemed completely at ease under his brother’s presence.
“…and then,” He choked out finally managing to swallow, before re erupting into uncharacteristic giggles “..eheeheehheee and then, she walked out eeheeheehee,”
“And all her armor was the most atrocious shade of pink,” Thor finished for him, realization of the fond memory dawning in his eyes. “You again?”
Loki just held out one hand flippantly, palm up as he took another swallow from his coffee cup.
“She was livid for weeks,” Thor continued. “She thought Odin was trying to tell her she should know her place as a woman of Asgard. If she had ever discovered it was you..”
“Ah, but she did not,” Loki grinned widely, starting to giggle again. “and that….and that made her so easy to have fun with.”
Stark and Banner slowly moved around the table towards the counter in silent disbelief at the display before them. Once directly across from the brothers, they just stared dumbfounded, arms crossed across their chests in perfect mimic of one another. Banner caught Natasha’s questioning gesture from where she still stood in the doorway and just shrugged.
Suddenly Loki erupted into new laughter as another memory obviously dawned on him. “You remember ..eheeehee…remember… remember..eheheee,” He took another swallow of coffee to try to articulate his thoughts before finally spitting out “The poker game in the tower?”
“NO,” Thor stared wide eyed, before erupting into another thundering bout of laughter himself. “Not the strip poker game!”
Loki was laughing so hard now, he was fully practically laying on the table, banging his fist down in fits of laughter. “I still can’t believe I talked everyone into it. Bwahahahahahaha”
“You cheated!”
“Technically,” Loki panted looking up at him as he caught his breath for a brief moment. “Everyone cheated…bwahahahaa..nobody…nobody found it odd that she was the only one losing her clothes?” This last bit came out as an almost wine as he was clearly breathless from laughing.
“I just thought she was terrible at poker.” Thor replied, once again starting to chuckle. “She will kill you if she ever discovers these truths you know.”
“Bah,” Loki dismissed with a wave of his hand and sitting up as he stared down into his cup. “She’ll have to…oh, my cup is empty…this sucks.”
The suddenly serious look on Loki’s face along with the Midgardian slang rolling off his lips was enough to send Thor into further chuckling as he clapped his brother amiably on the back, taking his cup and rising to refill it.
“Hey,” Loki called after him. “If you’re going to get me another cup, get me one.”
“Will do brother,” Thor chuckled as he reached between Stark and Banner to refill his brother’s coffee.
“Hey,” Stark injectured, “On a scale of 1 to drunk, how drunk is he?”
“Hey!” Loki snapped pointing at Stark accusationally, “I don’t drink drunk….get drunk”
“It’s true,” Thor stated with a half shrug, returning to the table and placing the freshly refilled mug in Loki’s awaiting hands, which went immediately to his mouth. “Loki could always drink the whole of Asgard under the table.”
“Well apparently, you weren’t using the right drink,” Stark replied, turning to prepare himself a cup of coffee as well. Banner sniggered as he followed Tony’s lead. Both still refusing to sit down, but rather enjoying the show from their vantage point by the counter. They were soon joined by Natasha, the mood now more relaxed. This was a side of Loki they could imagine was seen often in the brother’s youth in Asgard, but never since making their acquaintance here on Earth. Two brothers, sitting close in brotherly comfort, sharing laughs and secrets and stories of old. It would have made a great Hallmark of Asgard moment…..or great Midgardian YouTube video.
“You mean to tell me,” Thor boomed in disbelief. “you had ample breasts shoved in your face all evening and the highlight of the night was getting a mint from some man?”
Stark’s consciousness faded back into the conversation suddenly and he realized he had missed something by daydreaming as the look of surprise on his face was followed by Banner spitting his coffee back suddenly into his cup to avoid choking on it.
“He said he was bi-sexual,” Loki replied staring into his cup before leaning in to whisper loudly to Thor. “But I think he was half lying.”
The room was instantly filled with laughter from the entire group. Loki only shrugged and drank on his coffee. Any humor going completely over the trickster’s head in his inebriated state.
“What,” He asked feeling he was missing out. “I did not sleep with him. Even if I had wanted to, I definitely would not want to.”
This reply only earned more laughter.
“Oh brother,” Thor regained his composure still grinning as he once again clapped Loki on the back. “Your problem with women is that you don’t have enough…what’s the Midgardian word…I heard it described just the other day and it was perfect…Ah, I got it..Zazzle!”
Now it was Loki’s turn to spit as he erupted once again into helpless laughter. “Zazzle?!”
“Yes,” Thor repeated more sure that he had used the correct Midgardian word. “Zazzle.”
“Oh brother..eeeheehheee…you tongue is eloquent as ever,” Loki turned to Stark for clarification. “Is that..eheheeheee…is that a noun..eheheheeee…or a verb. ..How does one ‘Zaaaazzzzz’ Bwahahaaaaa”
Loki missed Stark’s shrugging reply as he plopped his head down on his forarm in a fit of laughter, banging his free hand on the table.
“Stop..wait…wait..” Loki was trying desperately to stall his laughter and reclaim his breath as he raised his head and turned to Thor…”wait..ahahaahaa…wait….I gotta ask….wait wait…” Suddenly serious, “What does lightening taste like?”
“It’s kind of tinny,” Thor replied non plussed by Loki’s sudden change in topic. “But Loki…Loki.” He grabbed his brother by the shoulder and squeezed to get his attention as the smaller man had befallen into a new fit of giggles at the reply. “Loki you must focus…I’m trying to impart some wisdom on the women..”
“Oh then I must listen,” Loki chuckled,taking another long sip of coffee. “Because Thor is always in such favor with the women. Natasha,” He suddenly turned to the woman now standing alongside Stark and Banner at the counter. “Don’t you want to bed with Thor. I am sure he find’s your breasts attractive enough for Midgardian standards.”
In a flash,Natasha had stepped forward, her hand connecting with Loki’s cheek in a slap loud enough to resonate in the small room, before stalking past the pair to return to the living room. She no longer cared to witness this display of male drunkenness and found little humor in it. Stark and Banner however just exchanged a ‘whoa’ glance and snickered between themselves.
Loki was staring wide eyed at nothing. Thor also stared at his brother, unsure what his reaction to the blow would be. Slowly Loki turned his head and met his brother’s apprehensive gaze.
“That was …amazing,” Loki finally excalmed, a grin creeping across his features before quickly continuing “My face is completely numb….go ahead…hit me.”
“I think I shall pass,” Thor chuckled, the tension easing instantly in the room.
“No no,” Loki continued undaunted. “I’m serious. I felt nothing. Banner..” He looked to Bruce, half rising out of his chair as if he meant to crawl across the table. “Banner, don’t you want to hit me?”
Bruce just raised one surrendering hand up and shook his head as he leaned further back against the counter.
“Oh c’mon,” Loki whined dejectedly before turning in sudden glee towards Tony. “Stark, Stark..I threw you out the window..remember…remember…you want to hit me right?”
“MMMMmm,” Tony seemed to consider it briefly. “Tempting, but I’ll have to pass. But do give me a rain check ont that, will ya ,buddy?”
Thor’s hand on Loki’s shoulder slowly brought him back into his chair as he guided his cup into his hand in the same move. Winking knowingly at Tony as Loki was instantly distracted by his new love for coffee. “Steady brother. There’ll be time for brawling later.”
“mmmm mmmm” Loki eye’s gleamed as new idea popped into his head. “Thor…Thor…have you ever noticed how cheese is so tasty sometimes.”
Thor just grinned “I hadn’t noticed.”
“Well you should. And hey…hey. Have you ever made orange juice from lemons?”
“No brother,” Thor still chuckling at his brother’s antics “I can’t say that I have.”
“I have,” Loki suddenly looked bewildered into his cup. “I still have no idea how I did it…hmm” With a shrug he tilted his head back and drained the remaining contents, eyeing the bottom his cup suspiciously afterwards as if it had a false bottom.
Thor plucked his cup and once again got up to refill it. Loki’s words following after him , “Hey…hey” The giggle returning to his voice. “hey…heeeheehee…you remember that song…eeheheheee…that one song”
“Which one, Loki,” Thor asked, trying not to chuckle, but finding his brother’s laugh too infectious not to join in.
“That one we used to sing..eheehee..you know..that sooooonnnng!” The last word was drawn out longer as Loki reached for his returning coffee cup.
“I am afraid I do not know as to which song you are referring to, dear brother.”
“YES…yes you do,” Loki retorted between swallows of coffee. “You know…it goes. ..ehheheeehee…hmmm hmmm…hehehehe..hmmm hmmm hiiimmm.”
Thor erupted into laughter as he stared incredulously at Loki. “Is that all you know of it?”
“No no…it goes..hmmmm hmmm hiiimmm,” Loki continued giggling as he looked expectantly at his brother “Oh come on..you KNOW it…we used to sing it all the time.”
“Oh yes,” Tony piped in raising a sarcastic eyebrow to Banner. “Hmmmm hmmm hiiimmm.”
“SEEEEE,” Loki erupted gleefully gesturing to Tony with his coffee cup and sloshing it’s contents over the table and his hand, which he promptly took to attempting to lick the coffee off his hand while still holding the cup. “he…*lick lick*…he knowth thit”
“Loki,Loki,” Thor took the cup away from Loki ignoring his cries of protest as he replaced it with a napkin and proceeded to wipe the spill off the table. “What are you doing there?”
“I don’t know,” Loki replied suddenly plopping his head in his hands and looking most forlorn “My head feels like it’s full of mustard. How do I turn this off?”
“Oh brother,” Thor’s booming laugh reverberated around the room and he wrapped an arm lovingly around his brothers shoulder and helped the unsteady man to his feet. “By sleeping. Come now, off to bed with you.”
“But I just…I just…one more,” Loki pleaded, looking wistfully back at the cup now sitting lost on the table as he allowed himself to be led away. Suddenly his knees buckled and if it hadn’t been for Thor’s quick action, grabbing him about the waist, he would have surely fallen.
However, Thor didn’t expect Loki to suddenly erupt into a fit of laughter, pushing his arm quickly off his waist and dropping back against the doorframe to steady himself.
“Stop…stop…wait,” Loki managed between giggles, holding both hands protectively in between his waist and Thor. “Don’t.”
“Loki,” Thor took a step towards him in confusion, still smiling at his antics. “You will fall if I do not”
“No..stop…stop..stop,” Each word was accentuated with giggles as Loki now had both hands on Thors arm as if trying to hold him off. “Don’t….I’m ticklish.”
The sudden confession only widened Thor’s grin as he quickly closed the distance between them. Loki just managing to slip to the side,evading his brother’s grasp and taking off towards the living room.
Banner and Stark exchanging dumbfounded glances, both mouthing the word ‘ticklish’ between them in disbelief.
Loki hadn’t made it 3 steps before falling drunkenly on his face, immediately Thor was standing over him and Loki rolled onto his back. Hands held up defensively.
“Have mercy,” He pleaded, white teeth gleaming in what he hoped was a most amiable grin. Natasha just watched the proceeding in bored disgust over the top of the magazine she was reading.
In one swift move, Thor grabbed Loki and hauled him up and over his shoulder.
“Come brother,” He chuckled, pausing to wave at Bruce and Tony before carrying his brother towards their rooms. “I will be saving that bout of fun for when you are sober.”
Loki also waved at Stark and Banner as he allowed himself to be carried away unceremoniously across his brother’s back. They just tipped their mugs towards him as they returned to their coffee.
“Well that was….revealing,” Tony stated after a few moments
“Yeah,” Bruce agreed. “In more ways than one.”
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Thank you for reading.
Please leave a review.
Dunk quotes were gathered from various online sources.
Loki being ticklish was inspired by another fanfiction.
