Answering His Question
After finding Loki, Loki is happy to see Thor but can not control the hurt until he knows the answer that has been dwelling on mind since he was banished and when he finds the answer, he gets more than just the answer he wanted to hear.
Written by: Kuro Bakura
Originally posted on AO3
“THEN SAY IT TO MY FACE, THOR! AT LEAST LOOK AT ME WHEN YOU’RE SPEAKING!” Loki shouted at Thor. After Odin discovered that Loki and Thor have been romantically involved with each other, he threw Loki out of Asgard, which hurt both of them. Thor tried to stop and persuade Odin from doing this but there was nothing he could do to or make him change his mind. Neither of them got to say good bye to or see each other. Loki was good before Thor woke up the next day. Every day since then, Thor has been trying to search for him, without his friends or Heimdall’s help. They knew about him and Loki but if he got them involved, it could make things worst. This was something that he did on his own. When he finally found Loki in Midgard, it was like Loki was not the same person he was before. Loki was more bitter and cold towards him. Thor knew Loki was going to hurt seeing him again but he did not know that it would make him become this way.
Thor turned to face him. Thor knew he should say something but what was it that Loki wanted him to say? Thor was not even sure if any thing would help at this point…but it was worth a try.
“Loki.” That was the only thing he could say. Loki was NOT happy nor pleased by his response. He wanted something more than just his not or one, single word. He demanded an explanation about how Thor feels about him after all this time.
“That’s all you have to say to me?” Loki said.
“I tried and pleaded with him, Loki but he was not going to change his mind.” Thor said.
“AND YOU THINK I AM REALLY THAT STUPID! I KNOW THAT! I AM NOT EVEN TALKING ABOUT THAT OLD FOOL!” Loki said.
“Then what is it that you want me to say?” Thor asked. Loki suddenly looked at the ground and began to sob.
“….I just wanted to know if you still love me but I guess you do not.” Loki said, as he cried. Thor walked over to Loki and wrapped his arms around him.
“Of course, I still love you. Very much. I would not have searched for you if I did not.” Thor told him. Loki wrapped his around Thor and held him closer.
“I am sorry for being an ass towards you. I guess that I felt so hurt that it turned into anger. I did not mean to take it out on you.” Loki said.
“I know, my love. You have the right to do that. Oh, Loki, I have missed you. There has not been a day where I have not thought about you and the things we have done. You are my life, Loki and I will do any thing to protect you. What Odin did was wrong and I regret not being able to try harder to let you stay. And to be honest, I would understand if you decided that we should not be together any more, I would understand. Heartbroken but understandable.” Thor said to him, now crying himself. To have and feel Loki in arms after all this time was something he has been wanting since he left. Loki lifted up his head, still in tears and kissed Thor’s cheek.
“Thor, I know you tried but you know how he is. No matter what you did, I was going to banished from Asgard, regardless. It could have been worst, Thor.” Loki told him. Thor began to cry harder.
“Oh, God. I do not even want to think about that. I know you are just being honest but please…I just want to think about you and what is going on right now. Not of what it could have been.” Thor said.
“I apologize. I did not mean to upset, darling.” Loki said.
“I love you, Loki.” Thor said then looked at his lover. Loki looked at Thor who was now calming down.
“I will make sure that do not get hurt ever again. I want you by my side, no matter what any oen thinks or says.” Thor told him. Loki sighed and let go of Thor, looking at the floor.
“If only that were possible.” Loki said.
“What do you mean?” Thor asked.
“Thor, you would have to go back to Asgard sooner or later. And when Odin finds out that you have found me.” Loki repliid, wanting to cry again.
“That is never going to happen because I have cut ties with Asgard. Odin can search me or force me to come back but I am not going to leave you. Now or for the rest of my life. I want to be here, with you..” Thor told Loki. Loki smiled.
“Really?” Loki asked.
“Yes. I mean it. I will find a way to stay in Midgard…if you want me to stay.” Thor replied. Loki smiled and wrapped his arms around Thor.
“Of course I do!” Loki said. Thor hugged him tighter and closer to his body.
“Then I am not going any where unless you are with me.” Thor said. Loki and Thor looked up and kissed for a full minute before they let go of each other. They held hands and put their foreheads together.
“Ek ann þér.” Thor said under his breath.
“I love you, too, Thor.” Loki said, smiling.
Both of them finally felt whole again. They are not sure what will happen or how long it is going to last but all they wanted to do right now is enjoy this one moment in time, together.